The Path Not Chosen

I will admit it – no denial. Today’s post is a rant! I look around and see things that worry me. I care about our country, our people, and, yes, about myself and my loved ones. I see a divided country and media stars and celebrities who benefit by encouraging this divisiveness. I would like to change this and maybe this post can help. You don’t need to agree, but try to give it some thought.  

I’m not sure this is true for everyone, but as I have become older, I look back at decisions I have made in the past and wonder how things might have changed had I taken a different path. Some of these choices were made in my youth and some as an adult. Yet choices, whenever made, always have an impact because there are always multiple options with multiple results.

I say that some choices were made in my youth and when I look back at those, I think that perhaps I should not have needed to make an important choice. Our childhood, and even our teens, should be a time for learning and even experimenting. We should not need to make choices or decisions that cannot be reversed as we age. At the same time, we should have this time to try different ideas and learn from the results. Unfortunately, it seems that today’s youth, even those in their very early years, are expected to make choices with no opportunity to change as they age. And we, the supposed adults, continue to push our children to make important choices at earlier ages. Have we taken away childhood in our efforts to control the future? And are our children forced into choices not based on their thoughts or beliefs but instead imitating those of their parents?

Things have changed, for both better and worse, since my youth. Those of my generation faced war in Viet Nam, the increasing prevalence of drugs, changes in culture as power moved from WW II veterans to the Baby Boomers. Those who believed like their parents were often ridiculed while the counterculture did not offer a strong strategy for the future. We faced the draft and associated choices to avoid the risks associated with war. We demanded, and were given, an earlier voting age. Yet we were not willing to take out choices seriously. Still our country survived and moved forward. Can we say this today? Or is the divisiveness we face today our fate? No one can say for sure, but we probably cannot go back to the past.

Our youth of today, and even those who are a bit older, no longer have the need to think. They can get all the information they need from their electronic devices, from unreliable sources, and from political pundits and media stars who are more interested in an attention-grabbing sound bite than the truth. People with multimillion contracts and eighth grade educations who claim to be “working class Americans”. People who, over a month after the recent elections, are still whining at every opportunity and suggesting they know more than the majority of American voters. And politicians who refuse to accept any blame for their losses and not recognize that their candidate had never received a single vote before the election.

For our future, when us old folks are no longer around, one must hope that the path chosen is the best. That it is chosen carefully, not because someone told us it was “cool” or “woke” or “progressive”. And not because it was “the way we have always done things” or because it is “convenient” or driven by “politics” or “money”. We can’t all be rich or superstars or have those million-dollar contracts. Nor can we all be losers. There should be a balance. And there should be opportunities. Let’s not force decisions on our successors but instead let’s teach them how to make good decisions. And then, let them make those decisions. We have been successful doing this in the past and can do so in the future.

The Holiday Season – Adopting a New Family Member

The Holiday Season is here, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, or some other holiday, this is often a time for adopting a new family member, one with four legs. This always seems like a fun thing to do. A way to share our love. Possibly a way to teach other family members responsibility. But before we share our love, it is a time to think about whether we are ready for the new family member and what this involves.

The most common new family members are dogs and cats. Before we welcome them into our lives, we need to think carefully about what this means. Along with all the good things like unconditional love, someone to greet us at the door, someone new for companionship and play, there are also new responsibilities and new costs. Who will be responsibility for walks, both morning and evening, and possibly the associated training? Who will clean up if accidents occur? Who will take care of food and drink for the new family member? Many of the same questions we would need to ask if we were welcoming a new human family member.

This new four-legged family member may soon conclude that he or she now owns the home and we, with only two legs, are there because they welcome us. Can we accept that? Where will the new family member live and what rules will be in place? And who will enforce the rules and how? Violence and abuse are not acceptable answers. If we already have other pets, will there be peace at the arrival of the new stranger or will there be war, or at least minor battles? We should ask, and honestly answer, these questions and many others before the adoption occurs.

Why? Because, unfortunately, many of these adoptions result in the returning the new family member, often the day after their arrival, or, even worse, their abandonment or death,

Later today, or possibly tomorrow, I will be writing a review of a book I recently read, W. Bruce Cameron’s “My Three Dogs”. While the book is fiction, it could as easily have been true with only a few changes including the common disclaimer, “Names have been changed to protect the innocent (or guilty).” If you or anyone you know is considering an adoption over the holidays, I would strongly recommend that you read this book first.

If you have asked yourself these questions, and still believe that you can accept a new member to your family I welcome you to the world of pet-owned people. I hope you have a wonderful life with your new “boss” and enjoy all the time you have together with him or her.

Happy Holidays!